That Drifting Poo Was Way Too Meaningful! It's the Television Disappointments of the Year.

Looking back, we reflect on the television offerings of the past year, a handful of series emerge not for their excellence, but for their notable failures. Ranging from awkward sequels to confusingly poor documentaries, here are the productions that had us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

Where to begin with this love/hate spin-off? Burdened with woeful scripts, painful arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the show fought to find its footing. Briefly, as the final series began, it seemed as if it had at last found its groove. Then came an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the showrunner announced this would be the last season. It ended on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s loo full of poo was just way too on-the-nose. Still, fans certainly had a hoot dissecting every single “what on earth?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't let out a small sob?

All’s Fair

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was almost the least of this drama's issues. The subject of a very rare zero star review, it was difficult to know where to start enumerating the problems. The laughably leaden dialogue? The tedious glorification of wealth and materialism? The seemingly deliberate procession of cliches? Acting so poor they felt borderline spiteful? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and never speak of this series again. Except, a new season has been ordered, so we’re likely going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Considering the legal troubles, domestic violence claims and parental shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d really have gleaned it from this three-part docuseries which smirked its way at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless hedonism while failing to tell us anything we weren't already aware of. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being indulged, so any pity this show might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charismatic but flippant narcissist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Naturally we understood it was ridiculous from the outset: a thriller about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer admiration for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.

The Gangster Drama

Dodgy figures convening in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.

Actually, that is unfair on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many seem a little old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to indulge baffling accents. But there were plenty of other problems. Primarily that it was just profoundly dull; a conflict over narcotics territory between various cockney rogues which seemed a bit basic.

With Love, Meghan

Given the extent to which she provokes the ire of certain ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into quaint lifestyle as deliberate statements. But then you watch them and are forced to admit that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle magazine animated; a meme for evening drinks with delusions of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, sentimental platitudes and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by immense, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are clearly interesting things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her struggles with vocation, identity, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this three-part series chose not to explore them. Rather, the experience was akin to consuming a marketing brochure. She clearly has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any favours with this guarded non-event of a series.

The Inheritance

It should have been the next big hit – except even camper, with a famous star playing dead and a well-known personality managing her estate. What more could you ask for? As players battled it out, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too confusing to explain what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via filmed videos. The show ended up smelling of a programme that was trying way too hard to emulate something way beyond it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How does one follow a show that defined a generation? The expectation was enormous for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the abundance of celebrity friends involved felt uncomfortable.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the smart inclusion of talented emerging comics, hopes were high. But unhappily, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a single joke milked to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a familiar irate mode. The writing room sketches, in contrast, simply inspired the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be handled sensitively. Rather, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right tone, lumbering from strangely jaunty, somewhat mannered farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Complex? Perhaps. A total mess? Very much so.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We admire the star … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the verge of a discovery that could ruin society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services spying on – and killing off – intellectuals honestly got more farcical by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This uncritical portrait followed the content creator notorious for sexual exploits as she undertook her biggest feat yet. What on earth would possess her? What we craved was way more interrogation of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the legendary mum who showed up to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was horrific shots and absolutely no critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.